A Storm Surge

11 November 2025, 22nd week of Ordinary time

Friends, after reporting so much improvement, the storm is swelling again. I look to Jesus, the author of my life.

The feelings in my body are intense and I explode suddenly. This is frustrating for me and for anyone around me. I wish I could control it. It’s like trying to stand in a hurricane: my will is almost futile against the forces at work.

If you are autistic, or know someone who is, it might be useful to hear what helps me during the intense part of the storm:

• In general, don’t talk. My sensory system is overloaded.

• If you think you should say something, I suggest saying, “You’re safe.” Avoid saying, “You’re OK.” I don’t feel OK!

• Don’t add your anxiety/frustration to the room. Of course you have feelings, but show a calm exterior.

• Give meds as prescribed. Don’t worry about it.

• Sometimes touch is helpful. It reminds me where I am and it grounds me.

• When I am calmer—but maybe not until the next day!—check in. I usually don’t know what set me off, but sometimes I do.

What does it mean practically to cling to Jesus in these times? I have one practice that helps me the most: the examen. The examen teaches us to hold the day before God and notice where He was present. St. Ignatius encouraged us to notice desolations (feeling far from God, frustration, being drained) and consolations (feeling close to God, full, energized)—God is present in both. During these difficult days, it is easy for me to notice the desolations: Will I keep struggling like this? Who will care for me when my parents are gone? I can’t stand this feeling! Stopping and noticing where I have seen God at work realigns me. He is at work! I don’t see the big picture, but I know He is there. He loves me, He is near.

My friend Carol Amidi has given permission to share her painting above entitled Redemption: I Seek You in the Morning. She describes it as follows:

This is about seasons of depression. The circles represent counting—days of waiting. There are tick marks near the circles, as you would tick days of a calendar. The tick marks also look like crosses, an “amen” to a prayer.

There is a figure curled up at the bottom — I asked a dancer to show me “despair” and this is what they did. The taller shadow I see as the Christ, coming to aid. Because of what Christ has done we are elevated. All the days of counting get their worth. This is about redemption. A hard time is a place to get really close to Jesus.

Amen!

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For more about the examen:

https://www.jesuits.org/spirituality/the-ignatian-examen/

https://thewell.intervarsity.org/spiritual-formation/examen.html

Link to an interview with Carol (see pages 22-23 of this church newsletter):

https://ascensionpittsburgh.org//wp-content/uploads/2025/04/4.25-Easter-Ascent-web.pdf